For all those who struggle with undiagnosed, misdiagnosed, or “diagnosis of exclusion” conditions… For those who feel like they are in a constant cycle of waiting and hoping…This is a letter from my heart to yours.
Dear Friend,
Oh how my heart aches with and for you today. I know you’ve waited weeks for these results and maybe even months to have this test done – only to hear the words “Everything Looks Normal.”
For most of the population, “Normal” would be a welcome word and reason to celebrate. That’s why it will be hard for some to understand the tears, frustration, and hopelessness you feel right now. I understand.
It’s not like you want some awful disease or diagnosis, but a diagnosis equals answers, and that means the possibility to finally have solutions and relief from your worst symptoms.
A diagnosis would also help quell one of your deepest – although maybe most unspoken fears – that you’re going crazy. That this is “all in your mind” and you’re somehow just making this all up or making a big deal out of nothing.
I believe you. You’re not crazy. You’re not making this up. There are very real things happening in your body and mind.
So let’s take a moment to just sit here in your puddle of emotions. I’m not going to tell you to “look on the bright side” or that “it could be worse.” There is certainly a time and place for perspective on this journey, but now is not it. Don’t rush through the grief.
Because that’s what you are doing – you’re grieving the loss of the answers you thought you’d finally found this time.
So take this moment to process – cry, yell, journal, take a nap, go for a walk, talk with a trusted friend – whatever helps you move through your emotions right now.
And could I take a moment to remind you that it’s not just me sitting with you? Your Heavenly Father is right here, too. Would you consider bringing this all to Him? Your raw heart, your aching body, your exhausted mind – allow Him to help you carry some of this as you move forward on to the next step.
Take it inch by inch, dear Warrior.
With Love,
Cassie
You have kept count of my tossings;
put my tears in your bottle.
Are they not in your book?
Psalm 56:8